Hunting on Acid

My First & Only Hunting Trip

Hunting on Acid

Hello Tin Canners (just thought of that) I hope everyone had a great holiday. Well after eating and retreating to my recliner I started reading the Thread. For the two people that may read this that don't know what that is, the Thread is a continuous conversation on Twitter with a bunch of lames with no lives including myself. Well anyway on the Thread @jackriprap was talking about a hunting trip he was on and that got me thinking of the one and only time I went on a hunting trip. This was all tbe way back when I was a senior in High School and before I realised hunting just for the fun of it was sickening and indecent to animals. I actually joined PETA and ASPCA many years later.

I grew up on Long Island and had no idea that there even was hunting on Long Island. When I was little I was really into Fly Fishing but never hunting. Evidentially people did hunt on the east end and what they hunted was Quayle. I have no fucking idea what Quayle was but I was told that's what we would be hunting.

Now it needs to be said my friend Greg & I actually were not official hunters cause we didn't have a license but we were allowed to be considered Walk-ons cause we sat in a few hour class and we were accompanied with John who we called Jonny Cat. To set this whole adventure up you need to understand Jonny Cat was a super serious hunter and has been teaching us the rules and etiquette of hunting and how serious it is.

This hunting trip starts off at 3am in the morning cause you want to get dibs on certain areas. We decided to pop Mescaline for ride and bring a couple more for each of us for the full hunting experience. So these little blue pills and a bunch of weed was on the menu for our trip that Jonny Cat brought us on. After parking my 1983 Volvo with a Moon roof that you had to open by winding a knob for what seemed like forever. We all just sat in my car tripping our faces off waiting to be allowed to go in to the woods to hunt these creatures.

When it finally came time to get out and sign in we had to wear special vests cause we couldn't handle the shotguns. Please keep in mind that Johnny Cat was really serious about this whole thing and was taking every second he could to make sure we wouldn't embarrass him cause he knew a lot of these other hunters. The problem was by the time the sun came up we were tripping our face off. If any of you took Acid before you know what I'm talking about but Mescaline is a bit shorter and it really makes you laugh uncontrollably. Since we were really losing it Johnny Cat who is a 6'4 140lb Heavy Metal listening dirt bag who always came across as weirdo whether he was on drugs or not. The only thing Johnny Cat took serious was hunting and playing Pool. We were all really different and met at a Pool Hall our friend owned we basically lived at called Side Pockets.

OK back to the story. When we got out of the car everyone knew something was wrong with us and Johnny Cat knew it and he was very embarrassed as he talked hunting with the other hunters. These guys were the Duck Dynasty years before there was such a thing. Johnny Cat worked real hard to fit in with these guys and show us as guys who really wanted to learn the ins and outs of hunting animals. This couldnt be further than the truth, all we wanted to do was trip balls in the woods. We thought it would be cool.

The hunters that got to the access point first got to pick the spot they wanted to hunt first and from there you would hike around looking for these Quayle's that Greg and I never remembered seeing before. Up until this point the most Johnny Cat only got really mad when we kept on trying to play with all the hunting dogs whenever we came across them. This would really get him mad so he stopped eating more Mescaline but Greg and I kept going. The hunting trip kept on getting more serious for Johnny Cat cause we never saw any of these Quayle and Johnny Cat talked for months how good he was and all the Quayle he would catch. Since nothing was happening on the hunting front we started having our own fun making fun of Jonny and all the mythical Quayle he was catching. This really pissed him off and we decided to leave him alone and go on our own merry way.

So when we left Jonny Cat we decided to spy on the other hunters. We never realised that this might not be a good idea in a forest full of hunters. Greg and I went all out we went to the car to change our clothes to blend in. We even put face paint on that Jonny Cat left in my car. The first thing we did was bury ourselves in a pile of leaves thinking we were Navy Seals. For the next 4-5 hours we reenacted all the World Wars and freaking loved it. As time went on we were really in our own world. We put a bunch of feathers in our caps and even got big sticks that we fashioned like shotguns. Looking back on it now we really must have looked silly but we didn't care. If you read my entire post I thank you and now give you the pay off!!

The morning passed and we were starting to peak from all the Mescaline we took and decided to break the weed out but it attracted Park Rangers or we thought it attracted Rangers so we climbed a tree and sat in it silent for at least a hour. Just as we thought we shook the so called Rangers off our tail (No Ranger we were just tripping our faces off) we saw Jonny Cat way in the distance. By this time he hooked up with some really serious hunters and we decided to go get him. This was going to be done in full spy mode. After catching up to him we saw he was in deep hunting conversation talking up a storm. Greg and I ran up the hill with face paint and feathers in our cap yelling Jonny Jonny look at us and his entire face and posture changed. We were fake shooting things like kids do with our extra long sticks. I mean we were going all out yelling Jonny making a bunch of gun firing noises. My poor friend Jonny Cat was so embarrassed, if looks can kill we would be dead. The old guys that were with Jonny looked at Jonny like are you kidding me, your not a real hunter look at these fools you brought with you. This went on for a while I know this because we started playing Cowboys and Indians too. This was when Jonny just started screaming at us and started to apologise to the other hunters for bringing us to the killing fields. After yelling he just walked off all pissed off all the way to my vehicle without saying a word.

This became the story of all stories with my gang from our Side Pockets pool hall. I'm real glad I never really killed anything hunting but I'm still real glad I went on my first and only hunting trip. I'm even more glad I did it on Mescaline because it made it memorable. Thanks @jackriprap for reminding me of this drug fueled adventure!!

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