Rise and shine its wake and bake time

I wake up early. I mean like wake up and tell the rooster to cockadoodle type of shit. Why, you may ask? I like to use the time in the morning to get ready for the day the best way I know possible. WAKE AND BAKE DAWG!

I usually wake up around 4 and put on Netflix because seasons 2-5 Always Sunny aren’t going to watch themselves. I do a couple dabs while getting ready and jump in the shower to wash the whiskey sweats off from the night before. Back out of the shower I get dressed and do another dab. *I can’t stress the importance of wearing clothes when working with torches, melting wax and titanium hot plates. I usually throw on some music and check my work emails from the night before to make sure I have no surprise meetings that I may have scheduled and forgot about. Still only 5 ish, this means I have plenty of time to gigolo myself to that sweet older woman I like to call Breakfast.

Now here is how its done. I got my pancakes, bacon, beans and I am fucking ready to cut down a goddamn tree or maybe just sell half a million brake pads to save the company from being bought out. I also like poached eggs and other stuff. I fux wit waffles, crepes, hash browns, home fries, juice, corned beef hash, regular hash, scrambled eggs, bagels, french toast, cereal is my nigga since way back. Lets not get into that since Bumps doesn't approve my list because Honey Smax was on it. Honey smax is legit I don't care what you say Burger. Go ahead cut my pay in half see if I give a fuck!

Eggs Benedict is the fucking real panty-dropper. I know its kinda backwards because you gotta get the girl to stay the night before you cook it, but it WORKS. Girls love eggs benny.

Follow Stoney on Twitter @YoKhed